Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Clean

At this point I'm over two weeks clean. It's honestly the longest I've ever not played WoW in years. I've only stopped playing for longer periods of time when I had no choice in the matter (moving, ect). Some days are a struggle, I can see myself playing and remember the good times I used to have. But then I remember that those good times were about 10% of the time I played. The rest of it was frustrating, grindy, and almost boring. Other days I don't even think about it. I like those days better :-P Thinking about how different I am when I don't play keeps me strong. I've always been somewhat of a dreamer, and I love that I can lose myself in a video game or a novel or a movie for a few hours. The problem with WoW was I was never able to turn it off. There's no beating it, no end, no last page to read. I crave that, that ending that makes everything make sense and finishes the story. I can read a book in one sitting if it interests me enough, or watch a series of movies, or do a video game marathon for a few days. Then when it's over, I'm not interested anymore. I might revisit it at some point, but I can go back to the real world again. I feel like the real me is coming back to life. Sort of like a robot that was forgotten and left rusting in a garage. I'm scared of losing that feeling, of feeling trapped and like a zombie again. That's why I know I won't ever turn back to WoW. Nothing is worth feeling that way.

Time is starting to feel normal again. Whenever I quit for a few days before time seemed to go really slow. I was used to rushing through everything to get more WoW time in, so I'd rush through everything then wonder what to do with all my time. I used to ignore my pets while playing, even worse sometimes I just saw them as a nuisance. Something that got in the way and annoyed me while I was trying to concentrate on my game. I'm starting to really love them again, and treat them like the part of the family I used to. It's like waking up from a bad dream, I can't believe how stupid I was when I used to play. It makes me cherish every second I have now. Life is too short to waste years on a video game!

3 comments:

  1. I'm sooo happy to read this post!!! I'm sooo happy you feel free and alive and balanced again :]]
    I can understand how you imerse yourself into a book, a movie or a game. I do too. And you are absolutely right in pinpointing the bigest trap of them all=this game doesn't end...period.

    You have such a fine personality Heather.It shows in the way you cope and in the way you express yourself in your posts!!Keep smiling and living this too short-tell me about it *sigh*-life.
    *big hug*

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  2. *hugs* I had some rough times at the beginning when we stopped. I'd have this urge to play that was so strong. Or Steve would say something that would get me thinking about playing. Funny enough, the podcast, "The Instance," was something I had to chuck right away because then I really wanted to play. That was a bummer because I totally love listening to that show. But it's no good.

    For me, lately, I think about how nice it would be to just hang out in Orgrimmar. I have been thinking about WoW and though I'll never play it again, I miss it. I actually miss doing my dailies and just chatting with folks, being silly, that sort of thing.

    I hope that you are doing ok. It can be a challenge not to play. One day at a time. You've had two weeks without it...soon it will be normal for you to NOT play, not the other way around. Hopefully it will be easier then. :)

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  3. I have been playing Wow for about three years but so far haven't got too hooked on it, mainly because I simply don't have the time, with a family and a job it was always a case of 'fit it in where I could' I haven't been on there for nearly a month now, but I was never one for doing dungeons, I just used to have a good wander around and kill some beasts! I do know someone who, if he isn't a total addict to the game, is very close to it. Its such a shame, he is a lovely guy! I hope he realizes what it is doing to him before its too late. I am filling my time doing my blogs on my fantastic holiday in China and I have finally picked up my needle again and I am completing the unfinished cross stitch pieces I started a long time ago. I don't even want to go on wow at all right now which is great! Well done for keeping off wow :)

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